caught up

Well it's been 2 weeks since the last time I've posted and it's been a rollercoaster to say the least. So much has happened. The last time I posted was the morning of june 10th, that day seemed like a normal day except we were hoping that my papa would have his surgery to get his pacemaker replaced. Well that afternoon, we got a call that he went into cardiac arrest during his dialysis and they had to put him in ICU so that put a fire under our feet and we rushed over to Florence to be with him and check up on him. I spent that afternoon in the waiting room harassing my SFF via text and laughing and joking with my family while we all took turns to visit with him. 20 min per pair and we had to go 2 at a time so that two of us were constantly holding his hand-one on each side. I was so worried for him but then we got the news that they were going to take him off the ventilator which made me feel better, so good that I shot over to the mall with my sister and Monica. We returned from the mall and his condition had not changed. So when it was my turn to go sit with him , me and my mom went into his room where my aunt donna was already there with him and the nurse and the nurse was so nice she came in and asked me if he was my dad I told her no my grandpa and she said he must be really special for all of his family to be here. i tod her yea he was and she called my aunt out into the hall while we were in there with him. My aunt came back with this weird look on her face and told us that the nurse said that there wasn't anything else they could do for him, so she was going to go out into the waiting room and get everyone else. So while she was gone my mom started talking to papa and was telling him it was ok how she knew he was tired and it was alright he fought a good fight and he could rest now. at this point he has one eye barely open but he has this huge smile on his face like the one he used to have when we were smaller and he would spend time with us on sundays after church. so i just kept holding his hand and my mom was asking him did he see me and he looked right up at me and smiled and i gave him a kiss on his forehead and everyone-my stepgrandma, my mom and 2 aunts, 2 uncles, 2 grandaunts,2 granduncles, and I were with him in his room all touching him and just waiting in silence for him to transition. There was a feeling of calmness in the room even though we all had tears in our eyes and others had tears streaming down their faces,he just continued to look at me and smile and between keeping eye contact with him and eyeballing his heart monitor i noticed his heart rate had dropped down to 20. So we all just silently stood around him and before we knew it , he was gone. That was one of the roughest moments in my life I'd never seen anyone die before and not only that but in such an honorable way, being surrounded by your family your wife, some of your children,grandchildren, sisters and brother. He was not only a great grandad he was a great man, a soldier. My family decided to give him a mlitary funeral since he was a retired Army soldier and that's what he wanted. He was buried in full dress uniform with an Honor Guard and everything. It was a very nice service, not sad at all, my papa lived a full life leaving behind 3 generations that came directly from him. Not very many people can say that. It was really hard for me to grieve because every one around me was hurting so much, I really wished the boo could have been there with me, but he did stay on the phone with me all night and let me have a good cry in his ear and he knew just what to say to make me feel better. Even though he's been working mids, and after I asked he came down for the funeral right after he'd gotten off at 7 that morning , he drove straight down for the funeral and got to meet most of my family from that side and it was nice even though I know he was exhausted. He was able to stay at the house and take over my bed and sleep for a few hours before he got right back on the road to New River where he had barracks duty. Which kinda sucked for him but once he was able to sleep he was good to go. So he's been really great through all of this, he's always doing something to make me fall in love over and over everyday. I haven't even threatened to tase him in a long time either. lol Things with the boo have made a drastic chage for the best. We've decided to get married! Which makes me feel so much better about packing myself and the girl up to move out of state, of course. We've decided to get eloped and we will tell our families that we're engaged and plan a wedding with all the bells and whistles and then let them know that we've been married for a year to the day of the wedding. We're going to elope July 24 and then have our wedding on July 24,2010. So that has been occupying my thoughts alot, I'm sooooo excited about it. A part of me wishes that we didn't have to do it secretly but I understand the reasoning behind it, although I'm still itching to tell my mom, maybe I'll mention it to him today or something and see what he says. The girl is doing well, we've officially entered the realm of potty training and boy is that an ordeal. It's crazy but she's starting to get the hang of it. So I'm hoping by the Fall she will be ready for school and be fully trained. We will see though...so that's a brief synapsis of the past few weeks and the big big stuff of course there were bumps and bruises along the way but it's all good.